Friday, May 28, 2010

ALLERGY TESTS ARE THE DEVIL

Brody has eczema. Because of this condition we have had many issues regarding his diet and unfortunately we have had to deal with issues of very sensitive skin. To explain just how sensitive my son’s skin truly is I will tell you that certain lotion, “BURNS, BURNS MOMMY!!” Lotion people..lotion burns his precious baby skin. So with that said he has been unable to eat ice cream with the other kids. And Mommy hasn’t worn perfume around him in 2 ½ years. It’s been unpleasant to say the least. Finally our Pedi suggested that we visit an allergist.

Dr. Nathan Tang is supposed to be the best in the biz. He is of the Asian persuasion. I have reverse prejudice with people of Asian descent. I assume that they are all geniuses. I do. It’s my thing. I’ll deal with it in therapy. So keep your opinions about it to yourself. I’m so excited to meet this man I sort of feel like I might pee. With a quick scan of his office and a brief introduction I can see he’s everything I hoped for and maybe a little more. He has more plaques of certification on his office wall than should be legally allowed. After saying hello I realize that I am going to require an interpreter to truly understand everything he says. The accent is thick people. I am delighted. We are going to figure this out. I can feel it. I can see the glimmer of hope radiating in my husband’s eyes too. We are so giddy we allow Brody to have a lollipop. What the hell, right

After showing the doctor the 900 supplements and vitamins our son is already taking, he suggests a skin test. I have never taken a skin allergy test and have no idea what it entails. Therefore I am foolishly enthusiastic about the process. I trot my precious two year old to the examination room with a light heart and pep in my step. The nurse arrives with a box of potential allergy suspects. She gives us a quick rundown of the procedure and assures us that it isn’t painful and will be relatively quick. It is NEITHER! The only good thing I can say about this test is that they condense the testing for children. This means that instead of single pokes they take about 10 at a time. Retraction, I am not sure if that’s good or not. The whole thing sucks! The first row causes Brody to scream as if he is being run over by a truck. His body tenses up and his face turns the color of a stop sign or a cherry tomato. It’s horrid and my eyes begin to fill with tears. He fights and screams throughout the rest of the testing. The extra nurse is holding me and telling me that it’s going to be ok while I try to soothe Brody. My husband is restraining him and trying desperately to hold himself together at the same time. When the test is finally completed both Brody and my husband are soaked from Brody’s body heat. The nurse says she is going to give him the award for the strongest toddler she has ever seen. The compliment eludes me and I just want to punch her in the face. I know she was just doing her job but it’s my primal reaction. We are forced to endure another 20 minutes of holding him so that he will not scratch his back. His crying is subsiding but hasn’t exactly disappeared. He complains that it still hurts and he is desperate to dig at it. Finally the 20 minutes pass and the doctor returns to view the results.

In the end, we found out that he is allergic to eggs, peanuts, cats, pine and oak pollen. He is also allergic to the mold that grows on the back of dead leaves. Brody is about the most outdoorsy fellow you will ever meet. He worships the ground that dead leaves rest on. This news makes me sad. The good news is that they believe he may have already outgrown his allergy to milk. I’m crossing my fingers for him and sending up prayers. We will take a blood test next week to verify everything on the skin test. I am planning a trip to Coldstone in the event that the milk allergy comes up negative. My little guy deserves it. He’s had to put up with an awful lot of poking and prodding for a two year old. Keep him in your prayers. Peace out.